Roxanne's Journey
Not too long ago, the word veteran evoked an image of the battered soldier who had returned from the front lines with medals across his chest and the fight long behind him. Today, however, a large number of women, even mothers, are among returning veterans. Desert Storm was part of the largest female deployment in U.S. history with more than 40,000 military women serving in key combat-support positions. Roxanne is one of those honorably discharged women veterans, but her fight is not over.
Every day Roxanne is focused on remaining strong and healthy, dedicated to reaching her goal—reuniting with her children and becoming a family once again. It is a long, arduous journey, but Roxanne is remaining on target with help from Volunteers of America’s Veterans Services Program in Denver, Colo. "Sometimes it so painful, just getting up in the morning is a struggle," Roxanne said. "But I think about my children and they are my focus."
In her last year of service after a break back home, Roxanne found she had become pregnant. Her plan was to rejoin the baby’s father and begin a life she had always wanted. She admired her parents who had been married 50 years and hoped to mirror that relationship with her new husband.
Yet, things didn’t turn out exactly as Roxanne had planned. She was heading into her own private Desert Storm; and it seemed there was no way out.
"I joined my husband when my daughter was 8 months old and lived with his family for seven years," said Roxanne. "I had planned on being a stay-at-home mom, but things were tough. I had another son in less than a year, and my husband was gone on the road for long periods of time. We would have horrible arguments which eventually led to abuse, and I knew I couldn’t raise my kids in that environment."
Roxanne took the children and left, hoping to start a better life. In her haste, she neglected to see the repercussions of her actions. Her husband soon filed charges for kidnapping, leaving Roxanne in such a fragile state that her breakdown led to her admittance into a Veterans Affairs care facility.
But the cycle had been put in motion, and Roxanne continued to experience times of employment and success—she owned her own home at one point— followed by deep depression from the loss of her children. As her husband pursued child support from her, Roxanne battled her way in and out of jobs and shelters. It was during one of her bouts with alcohol and pills "to just feel something" that she reached out to the Volunteers of America’s Veterans Services Program. At the center she found other women experiencing many of the same issues. She found support, empowerment and a way to work with the many daily struggles she was facing.
"I never wanted to be a burden," Roxanne said. "But now I understand that there are times when you need help. Volunteers of America is giving me the support I need, and I take one day at a time."
Roxanne’s advice to other women veterans experiencing difficulty: "Make the call. It’s the hardest part."
